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I’ll be announcing some good news shortly (pretty much as soon as I can provide a link for it), but in the meantime I thought I’d post again with some thoughts on how things have been going this summer.

I’ve been writing. Actually, I’ve been re-writing. It started with Daukherville, but that mountain still seems steep to me. Ed at Eleven has reclaimed my attention, and for once the editing is going well. I’d love to have a draft finished by October, and it looks like it might actually happen.

Most importantly, it would be a real second draft, rather than yet another first draft. Have I learned how to edit? Has dedicating myself to shorter fiction served the purpose I’d hoped it would? Could be.

In the meantime, while I’ve fallen off my target of twelve stories in twelve months (I’ve hit four in six so far, so there’s still hope for catch-up), I still have three of the pieces out in the wind, awaiting rejection.

“Sprachlos” (a detective story involving literary forensics) has made it past the first readers at Cemetery Dancewhich is delightful news in and of itself. I continue to wait for the form rejection, but Brian James Freeman, the managing editor of all things Cemetery Dance-related, has told us that anything rejected from this point on will have been seen by all the editors. Holy fuckballs, Batman. For me, Cemetery Dance is nothing short of a pie-in-the-sky market that I’ve dreamed of seeing a story in for decades. That I’ve made it this far really and truly is an honor.

“Seal” (about a nice day on a lake) has been submitted to Ellen Datlow’s Kickstarter-funded anthology Fearful Symmetries. As of their last update, 20% of the stories have been rejected, 4% have been kicked up to Ellen Datlow herself, and 50% have at least been read. The editors have stated that they plan to have all responses sent out by the end of August.

Finally, I submitted my most recent story, “The Broker,” based on an idea Amanda gave me about two ne’er-do-wells and their real estate broker, to Midnight Echowhich could be considered the Australian equivalent to Cemetery Dance, for their ghost-themed issue #10.

All three were written this year, and I believe in them all. Whether the markets above take them or not, I have a lot of hope that I can sell these pieces and step away from the lead balloon of my self-publishing efforts.

In other news, I’ve also collaborated with a talented filmmaker, Brian Lillie, on a screenplay for a short film that we submitted to this year’s Shriekfest.

As far as reviews of books go, you might have noticed a drop-off in frequency (i.e., that they’ve pretty much stopped altogether). I’ve made the decision that to do them (and do them as I was, with no fear of posting negative reviews) is no longer professionally acceptable. I will still post a review if I read something I truly love, or if something is the work of an old master, no longer publishing, but my negative thoughts I will now keep to myself (and immediate friends, who no doubt will hear all my rants).

Also, I’ve been reading a ton of short stories from a lot of writers I like, but I haven’t been able to claim that I’ve finished many collections or anthologies or even magazines, as I tend to skip around like a madman. (Mandler asks: Do madmen skip around? I say: Ah, go fuck yourself.) I’m seeking out a lot of great voices that are new to me, and I’ve found a few (Sarah Langan, David Nickle, Laird Barron, Livia Llewellyn, Helen Marshall, and Nathan Ballingrud to name a few of my new favorites from the last year and a half or so), but I’m pretty much in the middle of all their books. I never desired to speed read, and I never made the effort to learn, so I still read rather embarrassingly slowly, probably just slightly faster than someone reading it aloud. Maybe that makes me a bit of a numbskull, but hey–I like sticking close to the words. I see little reason to rush through sentences.

So that’s where things stand. I’ll update as the rejections make their way in, but for now it looks like the waiting game is the game for me.

The waiting game … and the writing game.

I promised myself last year that I would never let the total number of rejections catch up to my number of submissions.

It’s a promise I’ve kept ever since.

Call it progress.

Kindle Paid Short Story -- Top 100!

Well, it has been an emotional week for me. I’m not going to lie. The image here is the highlight: my book actually reached the Top 100 in the Kindle paid short stories list. I was one spot behind Mary Higgins Clark.

And just ahead of Spank Romance Stories.

Seeing that was a real treat. But better than that was the reaction from friends and family, who called and emailed and texted to let me know how they were finding the stories. It wasn’t all good; one sharp-eyed reader wanted to know how the man with no hands can caress a face. Pretty good question. I envisioned him doing so with one of the pulpy heads, but … I could’ve written that a little better.

Opinion is almost universal that the first story is a strange choice for the lead-off position. Fair enough. I did consider starting the collection with “Radiation,” but … I wanted to start with a shorter piece. I just thought it would be more fun and set the tone better.

In other terrible news, I also found out after I published this collection that Chuck Palahniuk’s new book Damned is going to feature a young girl who finds herself unexpectedly trapped in Hell. Yep. That’s right. That is a near-perfect description of the plot of “Esther’s Prayer,” a short story I wrote originally on this site in February under the title “At Night in the Cottage.” Guess I’ll have to take back some of those things I said about Stephen King’s Under the Dome being too similar in plot to The Simpsons movie. Also looked it up, and it looks like, even if I did publish first, he talked about his book and what it was about in 2010.

I’ve been scooped not only by a pro, but by one I am a fan of. Kind of a bummer.

Chuck P., if you read this, I promise not to be upset by this bump of hands in the popcorn bucket of story ideas if you aren’t. I swear, I did not hear that story from you; it’s based on a dream I had earlier this year. I expect when I read your book, I’ll find your version vastly different than mine, anyway. You say you went Judy Blume/Breakfast Club, and I think that’s pretty different from what I did. Maybe there’s room for two girl-in-Hell stories in this world. Here’s hoping.

A few notes on distribution: iTunes still has yet to publish the book (what gives, man?), no copies have yet sold on Barnes & Noble, and my Kindle version is unsearchable by category, which pretty much makes it unfindable. But I’m hoping these problems work themselves out eventually. I’m prepping a physical copy to be published in the coming weeks, so readers who prefer something they can hold need not be left behind.

But as far as those of you who are reading this now and have purchased it, I wanted to say a big THANK YOU! This week has been a far bigger success than I expected.

Thank you all for being awesome and reading my book!!!!

Feel free to comment away below and let me know what you liked and didn’t like. I want to hear it all!

(also, if you have read it already, review it on GoodReads.com or Amazon or wherever! say whatever you like, I don’t care; be honest! I love seeing reviews appear!)

I Held My Breath as Long as I Could Cover

Cover Art, I Held My Breath as Long as I Could

Yesterday was a day of doubt spent wondering about this collection. I told myself that I would hit the publish button October 1st, no exceptions, but I really was considering pushing the date back. This morning, I feel a little better, but I still am going to be pushing myself as hard as I can this week.

For one thing, I’d love to get the stories into shape in time to run them through the content analyzing software application I built for Daukherville last year, but that would require altering some of the code to look at I Held My Breath. Still, it could prove worth it to at least run it through once and check the sentences for word repetition and things of that sort.

The second section continues to prove the most challenging. One story in particular, “The Worm, the Road, and the Sun,” runs for 10,000 words, and that proved way too long for Amanda. Not to mention she had some serious criticisms of the piece, which were entirely valid, and that means additional content work. I’d also love to shave 2,000 words off the length of the piece, but I don’t know right now where to make those cuts, especially given the additions it needs. It would really be a shame to not include it, so I’m feeling a bit like a designer on Project Runway, who’s just received a review from Tim Gunn along the lines of, “Kristopher, I have to be a truth teller … I’m a bit disturbed by this. It feels a bit dark. And the LENGTH! Oh my. I’m very worried about this piece.”

Time to make it work.

I Held My Breath as Long as I Could Cover

Cover Art, I Held My Breath as Long as I Could

And then there were only two weeks left.

Holy crap. The nerves, oh, the nerves. Was up late last night, finishing reading The Picture of Dorian Gray, a great book, when I found myself amusing myself by reading some of the reviews that were published of Wilde’s book when it came out. Great stuff. The kind of stuff anyone who’s received a critical drubbing would love to read. I wonder how many critics who give a scathing review to something consider what it would be like to end up the kind of critic who panned Dorian Gray. The reviewers who ripped it to shreds seemed both arrogant and ridiculously wrong–what a wonderful combination.

I also appreciate Wilde’s confidence in his own work. The man called his own book a classic. What a guy.

I fear what people might say about me after they read “Doggie-Style.” I might really be in some trouble for that one, but I’ve thought it through and decided there’s no point holding back. Either I do what I do, or I do nothing at all. “Doggie-Style” is a messed up horror story of questionable worth, but it is certainly mine. If there’s such a thing as a “Kris Kelly story,” well, “Doggie-Style” would definitely be one of them. This whole collection drips with my issues. I’m naked on this one. So be it.

Man, oh, man … I really hope people get this stuff.

In other news, to sell an eBook on Apple’s iBookstore, it turns out I couldn’t be registered to sell both apps and ebooks. I had to create a whole new Apple ID to register as an eBook seller.

Apple doesn’t want me to diversify.

I Held My Breath as Long as I Could Cover

Cover Art, I Held My Breath as Long as I Could

In the last month, I’ve kept busy and missed precious few days. I’ve written a completely fresh draft of a story called “Radiation,” which I originally wrote in high school (it’s the story that earned me my favorite rejection letter ever, the letter which said, “This story is almost strange enough to like — unfortunately, it makes no sense at all!!!”). I love the revision. Also been working on revisions to some of the stories here, to mixed results. I have these ideas of what I want to do, but sometimes it just doesn’t work the way I think it should. I’ve got one more month until my deadline for new content expires and I go to strict line-editing, but I’ve already gotten the feeling that these are the stories I’m going with, and that I’m going to need all the time I can get to make this heap of sentences work.

There’s so much to do. There are so many words. The idea that people routinely write long novels blows my mind a bit right now.

Tonight, I’m going to read one of the pieces at Black & White here in Manhattan. Hope the audience likes it. I feel a bit nervous, as always, but it’s been too long since my last reading. I’ve been too much in the lab, and I have to make an effort to get out more.

KeyboardIt’s always easy to meet a goal in the beginning, and today is no exception. Distracted by this blog itself (messing around with styles, fonts, and plugins can really make the hours fly), I still managed to turn up the Gogol Bordello and crank out the day’s quota (with some to grow on).

This is only the fourth time in my life that I’ve passed the 100-page mark (single-spaced pages, baby–the way the crazies write). Right this moment, I guess I’m feeling like the book is flawed, clumsy, a bit of a pile of shit, really, but how else am I going to learn? Besides, this book is my freaking albatross; if I don’t put it down soon, it is going to be the end of me.

I sometimes think about what it would be like to finish it again. It’s such a sweet thought.

Trees, Cave, WaterfallThe Goal: Try to get my novel done by October 2010. This thing has been vexing me, on my mind, and yet elusive since 1995. I’ve written it twice as a novel, twice as a screenplay, and I’m still not satisfied.

This will be the last time.

I have a goal of 500 words a day. Seems easy enough … except why then is my average right now only slightly above 200 words?

There have been a lot of lapses. A lot of days where the thoughts weren’t coming or the story wasn’t easy to find. I’m trying to tell myself that quality doesn’t matter, not now, not yet. Forward progress is the goal.

One of my characters in particular is a permanent headache. He’s a cop who is supposed to be smart and likable, but he’s witnessed some things recently that have broken his mind a little. I think he’s coming across as a downright lunatic, and I’m feeling this urge like the undertow on a beach to go back and completely rewrite his character.

But I know that road. I’ve been down it before. And it only leads to another unfinished version of this horrible book. So I won’t do it. I’ll keep going with this bizarre mess of a guy in my book, and maybe today he’ll start coming into better focus for me.

I can dream anyway.

Daukherville Cover Art

Daukherville Cover Art

This is the cover art I designed for my book when I wasn’t writing the actual words for it. Love it, hate it, or somewhere in between? Leave your comments and let me know what you think; there’s a chance if no one ever decides to publish it that I’d self-publish for the Kindle and that this would be the official cover.

A few people have asked what the top half of the image is, and so I’ll tell you:

It’s Manhattan, warped in PhotoShop to look like trees or mountains. But yeah… That’s a city right there. The yellow glow is from all the traffic. (The image I derived it from is actually used as one of the header images for this site.)