Q. “I’m getting some strange errors on the home page.”
A. “I only need to know one thing: where … they … are!” [makes shooting gesture]

Q. “Topher, you got a second? Got some stuff I need to talk to you about.”
A. “Is this gonna be a daily standup, sir, or another bug-hunt?”

Q. “Meredith from marketing has some ideas about the site.”
A. “Yeah? Why don’t you put her in charge?!”

Q. [approaching new computer] “Is this your new server? Niiiiice!”
A. “Get away from her, you bitch!”

Q. “Sooo, um … what do you think it would take to fix these problems?”
A. “I say we take off, nuke the site from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.”