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Well, that was fun.

Six days ago, Midnight Echo sent a form rejection in for “The Broker.” Three days ago, I learned that a screenplay I co-wrote, “Bad Apples,” missed the semi-finalist cut in this year’s short screenplay Shriekfest competition by one freaking spot (cheers to the first loser!). Over the last two days, two other stories were rejected in a single day by two other magazines, and then … well, and then today.

First, my 211-day wait ends with a rejection from Cemetery Dance, where “Sprachlos” failed to pass by the keen eyes of Mr. Norman Prentiss himself, and then about five or so minutes ago, I received a form rejection for “Seal” from Fearful Symmetries. 

Banner week, my friends. All this while I’ve been coding like a fiend at work under deadline pressure, then coming home and working until three or four a.m., trying desperately to finish typing, editing, formatting, and publishing my grandmother’s book, so I’ll have a copy to hand her next weekend when I go up to visit. Call me crazy, but the closer to completion that thing gets, the more I fear a sudden turn in her health. I’d originally promised to have it done last Christmas, but I procrastinated. Now I don’t want this whole thing to turn into a bad joke where the good-for-nothing grandson delays just-too-long to do what he’s promised until finally making good on the promise … one day too late.

But the way this week is going? Shit, I’m glad I don’t have a dog, because it would probably get hit by a car during a week like this.

But okay, okay, enough crying into the whiskey. All of these markets (and Shriekfest) are tough ones to break into. The odds were never in my favor. Fearful Symmetries received 1,100 submissions for two open slots. Cemetery Dance, well–they publish people like Stephen King and Dean Koontz and Clive Barker, and it’s a lucky day when they even open for submissions. The other markets I targeted were all equally high-end. It would be the height of hubris to expect anything other than a rejection from such places, even if every horror writer out there would be out of his or her mind not to try. Aim high, but keep in mind you are aiming high.

What is actually shocking is that I made it as close as I did. “Sprachlos” made it past the first readers at Cemetery Dance, and then it survived until the final twenty or so among the eight hundred stories submitted during the two months they were open. And Shriekfest? Man, that was close, too!

I’d like to add here that Brian James Freeman, who moderates the Cemetery Dance forums and is the managing editor of Cemetery Dance, was surprisingly approachable and forthcoming about the behind-the-scenes goings-on during the incredibly long and agonizing wait for my rejection. I have nothing but good things to say about the guy. He really did his best to reach out to us and ease our anxieties and shed light on what was happening. I’m so thankful for his responses, both via e-mail and the forums. The guy rocks.

As far as the other places go, sure, the form letters are lousy, but they’re also to be expected. I can’t lie to myself and say that I didn’t see any of this coming, because I certainly did. Hell, last night I sent out two submissions, because I had a feeling that I was about to get down to the felt again, and I made a promise to myself that I’d never let the responses catch up to my submissions — which would have happened if I hadn’t sent anything out.

Too close. That was way too close, and it tells me that, despite how many response I’ve received this week, I’m still not really sending out as many pieces as I should be.

If nothing else, the book I’m putting together of my grandmother’s old columns from the local paper is great. It’s going to be beautiful, and it’s almost done.

And it will be published (self-published, sure, but hell with it–it’s something), so there. I’ll have accomplished something real this week, rejections be damned. I don’t want to discount my own tales of misery and terror, but I do think that book’s completion is far more important than any of the rest of this crap.

So, tonight, back to the grindstone.

Tomorrow, work work work. These rejected pieces of shit don’t edit themselves.

Sunday I’ll be at the Black and White open mic on E. 4th street to read something. Something new, I hope. Because the best way to get over a rejection is to write something new.

Or something like that, right?

The good folks over at Bizarrocast have given the audio treatment to my short story, “The Night Light,” taken from my collection I Held My Breath as Long as I Could. 

If you find yourself with a few minutes to spare, stop on by and have a listen. It’s also available on iTunes.

A very big thanks to Chris Boyle and Bizarrocast! This is the first for-pay sale of a story I’ve ever made.

Acceptance. It feels nice.

First of all, for any readers of this blog in the NYC area, I’ll be going to Black and White (86 E. 10th St, btw 3rd and 4th Ave.) to participate in the readings starting at 8pm this Sunday. Who knows what I’ll read.

But who am I kidding. I think I know all my readers by name, and most of you live out of state.

More importantly, last night I compiled all the pieces of the first draft of “Seal,” which is the second short story in my 12 months, 12 stories project for 2013.

Today, I’ve been wondering how I feel about it. I think I feel good, but I can’t escape a crippling sense of depression. Maybe it’s my standard post-partum; maybe it’s something else. I feel super-critical of the piece right now (the story centers around a mom who doesn’t want to be a mom, and writing a horror story about that strikes me now as potentially terribly sexist, which was exactly the opposite of my intent), and perhaps the sadness of having fallen short of my own goals is what’s at work on me right now.

Or maybe I’m just tired. It’s been a long couple of days.

But now I’m going to let this one sit and go back to “Sprachlos” for another draft before March comes around the corner and I start work on “Special Formats Processing.”

It’s time to generate some more new content. Given that my new mission is to always have something out there waiting to be rejected, I feel like I want some new stuff to send around.

To that end, I’ve embarked on a mission to write twelve short stories in twelve months. Started with a story called “Sprachlos,” which I wrote and edited in January. It’s about a literary forensics guy investigating a pseudonym that perhaps would be best left alone. It’s cute, amusing — I like it and have started to send it around. It’s already been rejected by Nightmare Magazine, and now it’s waiting its turn in the queue over at Cemetery Dance. 

February’s story is also now well on its way to first-draft-dom. It’s about a day in the early summer for a family of three living on a lake. They have a bad day. I hope to have the story drafted by the end of this weekend while Winter Storm Nemo does its thing to the northeast.

In other news, I sent a query to Random House’s new horror ebook line Hydra to see if they wanted to help me put out an improved version of Abraham Road. They liked the sample chapter and requested the full manuscript, and I’m waiting to hear back. It’s been over two months, so I expect to hear any day now. If they do end up turning it down, I’m probably going to spend a few weeks turning it into an audiobook.

As for those novels still waiting in the wings, progress is slower. I guess the problem is that, before I go down another long road with a full-length project, I’d like to have some validation that I’m getting the knack of this story-writing business. This year, it’s all about getting that first real acceptance letter for a horror story.

 

The first thing I thought when I walked into KGB Bar this past Wednesday for the Fantastic Fiction reading series was that it was the kind of bar I’m always looking for: plenty of space to grab a seat at the bar (that changed fast), good jazz music playing, and writers everywhere.

I took a seat and ordered Jameson’s on the rocks, then spent the rest of the night drinking bottles of Baltika #3. Russian beer!

John Kessel and S. G. Browne both gave good readings. I was unfamiliar with both writers’ work, but I enjoyed what I heard. Looking forward to next month when Jack Ketchum will be reading.

Yeah. Jack m’f’in’ Ketchum.

Did I mention that there’s no cover to this series? That I just walked in, had a few drinks, and listened to some quality writers read their stuff?

Also of note for me: the great Ellen Datlow runs this series. I actually had a short conversation with her and shook her hand. She mentioned that after the readings, everyone’s invited to join the hosts and the writers across the street for Chinese.

I might’ve run screaming from the Sphinx’s eyes this week, but next month I’m going to steel my nerves and have some lo mein.

Just another reason I love living here.

That, and the public transportation system.

I Held My Breath as Long as I Could

I Held My Breath as Long as I Could

Because I love October and love the fall and love giving my book away for free, for the next five days, I Held My Breath as Long as I Could is free on Amazon. If you haven’t already picked up a copy, now’s your chance.

I Held My Breath as Long as I Could is my attempt to put together the least marketable collection anyone has ever seen. It’s got flash fiction in between longer, more substantial pieces (I was thinking of the book as a meal with lots of courses and lots of side dishes). It’s got nonfiction personal stories slammed up against absurdist vignettes that make no sense to anyone other than perhaps me and David Lynch. It’s got funny stories, horrifying stories, stories that’ll make you think I’m a giant asshole — really, I practically guarantee you will love at least one story and absolutely hate at least one other one.

In other words, it’s the horror-collection equivalent of putting the collected works of Frank Zappa on shuffle — by which I mean, it’s a great goddamn time.

From today, Dec. 15, through Saturday, Dec. 17, the Kindle/Kindle Fire ebook version of I Held My Breath as Long as I Could will be available on Amzaon for free.

Tell your friends. Tell your neighbors. Tell anyone with an Amazon ebook reader.

I’m willing to bet there’s at least one story in there for everyone.

Don’t miss out!