I have to hand it to them; they responded to all my stories within a week, and each one came with a personal rejection note.
I love getting rejection notes, and I really enjoyed these. I felt like sharing them.
1. “Appreciate your giving us a shot with this one, but I’m afraid we’re not going to use it.”
2. “Thanks for trying us again, but I’m going to pass. The premise here doesn’t reel me in enough.”
3. “A little too on the slight side for our use, I’m afraid. Thanks for trying us, nonetheless.”
4. “This one reads too much like a short story, which we really don’t run. Take a look through our main feature archives to get a better sense of what we’re after.”
5. “This has its charms, but I’m afraid I’m going to pass. Thanks for the look.”
6. “I’m afraid we’re a little Facebooked out at the moment. It’s a popular subject in our inbox. Thanks for the look, nonetheless.”
7. “Thanks for trying us again, but I’m afraid I’m going to pass.”
8. “This one’s conceit is maybe just a little too far over on the silly side. Thanks for the read, though.”
9. “In general, scatological (or in this case urinelogical (?)) material is not a good fit for us. Thanks for thinking of us again nonetheless.”
10. “Afraid I’m going to pass. Doesn’t spark enough laughs and the premise feels a little untimely since we’re well past the end of summer.”
… So now it’s onto a new year, and I’m reloading. Hopefully with things that are less urinelogical, more charming, less slight, more timely, not short-story-ish, and have nothing whatsoever to do with Facebook.
The target narrows, but I used to bullseye wamprats in my T16 back home.
Someday, McSweeney’s! Someday!!
Note: All the pieces were published post-rejection on this site under the tag Project McSweeney’s.