After this weekend’s burial of another black youth shot for no good reason (he was in the back seat of a car playing music some white asshole thought was too loud before opening fire and claiming he felt threatened), maybe it’s time Florida re-branded their “Stand Your Ground” Law. Might be time for a name change, face-lift … something.

Here are my suggestions for new, more accurate names.

What “Stand Your Ground” Really Means

Ah, there is nothing like a random contest win to brighten a day!

Today, I won a Twitter contest over on Unshelved to design a vampire trap. The contest is a promotion for 32 Fangs, an upcoming vampire novel by David Wellington.

Because I had fun, and because Amanda got into it to and provided some hilarious entries herself, I’ve decided to round them up here for posterity. Check out the other winners and runners-up at the link above, otherwise, enjoy these, which were our entries:

1. Midnight marathon past the vamp nest, all runners hydrated thoroughly with holy water. (Winner.)

2. Vampires still gotta bathe. Have Father O’Helsing bless the reservoir supplying the water to Vamptown.

3. Play G Tom Mac’s “Cry Little Sister” at a carnival. Slayers standby. It is to vamps what “Shave and a Haircut” is to Toons. (My favorite of mine.)

4. Though my girlfriend says, “If it was a man vamp, a bloody booby. What’s better than that? Bloody boobies that’re hydrogen bombs.”

5. Girlfriend also recommends: “A trail of bloody tampons … leading to Kevin McAllister’s house.” (Contest judge gave this a nod as the grossest entry in a direct message. I think it’s obviously the best of all of these and am very proud of my girlfriend for being so disgustingly funny.)