The Goal: Try to get my novel done by October 2010. This thing has been vexing me, on my mind, and yet elusive since 1995. I’ve written it twice as a novel, twice as a screenplay, and I’m still not satisfied.
This will be the last time.
I have a goal of 500 words a day. Seems easy enough … except why then is my average right now only slightly above 200 words?
There have been a lot of lapses. A lot of days where the thoughts weren’t coming or the story wasn’t easy to find. I’m trying to tell myself that quality doesn’t matter, not now, not yet. Forward progress is the goal.
One of my characters in particular is a permanent headache. He’s a cop who is supposed to be smart and likable, but he’s witnessed some things recently that have broken his mind a little. I think he’s coming across as a downright lunatic, and I’m feeling this urge like the undertow on a beach to go back and completely rewrite his character.
But I know that road. I’ve been down it before. And it only leads to another unfinished version of this horrible book. So I won’t do it. I’ll keep going with this bizarre mess of a guy in my book, and maybe today he’ll start coming into better focus for me.
I can dream anyway.